Darkening Fires
by DarlingIWriteFanfiction
Summary: Surviving is far from perfect. The wounds, the tears, the losing, the fighting. Nothing turns out right and no one is right. But salvation in a world of survival is beautiful and questions all the bad. Love is paradise and sanctuary is breathtaking. But no one is sane anymore, and love is a matchstick at midnight.
1. Prologue

A/N Hello guys im Hailey and this is a story ive been working on for a while. I'd first like to say that this will loosely follow the events in the show. Really by that I mean I'll most likely only have big and important parts follow what happens in the show. For the most part this is a AU story, so keep that in mind when things like Noahs death does. Not occur (that was just a example.)

Also the rating for this story is M because of violence. This is infact a Carl Grimes fanfiction so it isn't all going to be rainbows and unicorns. And if you dont what the M rating has in it, I have it right here.

Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

I dont think im going to make this story rather sexual but if a chapter gets steamy I'll warn you before hand. Anyways thats all I have to say. Enjoy reading my story and remember to review!

Prologue

The soothing voice of Nora Jones flows through the speakers while Kathleen chops onions in the kitchen. Its a cold saturday night, or so she assumes. She's lost track of days since three months ago, finding it useless to try when there are other things she needs to worry about. Her trusty side kick, a Great Dane named Charles, sits by the fire place while trying to sleep peacefully.

The curtains in the whole apartment are drawn shut, trying to block out the real world. And Kathleen likes that. She slides her onions into a small pot on her gass stove and cooks up variations of vegetables on rice. Stir fry. Her stomach rumbles loudly, causing Charles to look up in alert and look around the apartment.

No one is there. No one is ever there. No one besides Kathleen has been there for almost a year. And that very thought drives Kathleen into insanity day after day.

Soon Nora Jones cannot drowned out the sounds coming from outside. The sounds that is fifteen flights down. Kathleen clutches her knife while trying not to think of what lurks outside. Tries not to think of her time on the concrete ground. But its getting harder to avoid the truth.

Harder to avoid this sick reality. The thought of those things downstairs causes Kathleen to drop the knife and rush over to her bathroom and vomit out her breakfast. The imagines of those things doing what they've done has been engraved into her mind.

The imagines of what she's done are too. Charles comes to her side to see if shes okay. She sits up and pats his head, a sign of showing shes fine. But she's not and she hasn't been for some while


	2. Chapter One

Kathleen awoke at sun rise, the flicker of light from the sun illuminated her room. Charles was asleep at the foot of her queen sized bed, snoring peacefully. She smiled softly at the loud dog and climbed out of bed. Today she needed to make a run and tend to the garden on the roof. But first, she needed a shower. She padded to her bathroom that connected with her tiny bedroom and turned the shower on. Water slowly trickled out and she sighed. She'd need to fix that tomorrow.

She quickly undressed herself and hopped into the shower, quickly washing her hair and body. That was something she'd need to add to the run, shampoo. she turned the shower off and grabbed her light blue towel to wrap around herself. She squeezed all the water out of her hair, well what she could, and brushed her teeth. She stared at her reflection for a moment, cringing at the sight.

Her auburn hair layed in tangles, stopping at her elbows. her dark brown eyes were sunken in with dark bags under them. And her lips were twice the size they should be, most likely from biting them. A habit she needed to stop.

But it didn't really matter, she didn't have anyone to impress. All she had was Charles, and she was sure he wouldnt care if she walked around in a potatoe sack with messy hair, as long as she fed him.

She grabbed her brush and brushed out all her tangles before pulling her hair into a bun. She didn't want the ghouls to grab her hair, that'd be a stupid way to die. Death by throat bitten out because of hair being pulled. What a long explanation to put on a tombstone. Not that she'd get one once she's dead. A tombstone that is.

Once she was satisfied with getting all her hair up, she put on her hat that had the word CAVALIERS written in white bold letters. Her father was a hardcore fan of the Virginia football team, and almost everything she had of his had something to do with the awful team. He'd always say somethimg along the lines of "have some pride for your home state."

She chuckled at the thought and slipped on a black tank top and dark red leather jacket. It was a size to big for her, but it kept ghouls from biting her arms. She slipped on a pair of bright blue jeans and left the bathroom. Charles was still sleeping in his spot, so she shook his body gently, causing him to jump up in panic. She sighed, and went into the kitchen, pooring dog food into his bowl and grabbing a apple for herself.

Charles came rushing in, eating his food with hast. She went back into her room and shoved her socks clad feet into a pair of dark red doc martins, and laced them up. Her back pack was in the corner of her room on a pleather reading chair. She grabbed it and filled it with necasities. Ammo, a extra knife, duct tape, and snacks for her and Charles. She grabbed her manila folder off her dresser and shoved it into the pack.

Kathleen walked out into the living room and clipped on her blue belt that made it so Charles and her couldn't separate, the other end was already clipped to his colar. She gave him a small smile before putting her pistol in her holster. She grabbed her machete, sliding that in its small sheath.

The blue ford rode down the small road, heading in the direction of a shoping center. Charles had his hesd sticking out of the window, enjoying life like a dog does. Kathleen had a cd playing. She didn't know the band nor did she know any of their songs, but is was one she found on a run a while back. It was decent and kept her entertained while she drove. She turned the dial down, so that ghouls weren't attracted to her. They were in the crowded part of town. The town didnt have very many ghouls left in it, but there was still enough to over power Kathleen and her over protective dog.

While she took a left turn, she came across a ghoul, laying on the road, his legs were no longer there. She felt bile rise in the back of her throat at the sight, and was quick to speed the car up and run it over. There was a loud squish sound that made her chuck up some of her apple from breakfast, but she was quick to swallow it.

Ghouls had always had that effect on her. Just the thought of one made her want to run for miles. But this was the new world. Only the strong survived, and running away would only show your weakness, causing death to cross your path.

She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. She pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall, and shut the car down. Kathleen counted to three, her breathing at a rapid pace, and tried to think of happy thoughts. But there was none of those left. This plague that had struck, had caused more then rising the dead. It had caused happy memories and thoughts to fade. Sanity to vanish, and people into monsters.

She counted to three once more, thinking of Charles as a pup, and began to breathe properly again. She opened her car door, Charles trotting behind her and walked to the first Ghoul she saw. She kicked at its knees, and shoved her machete into its skull. She bit her lip to keep from screaming, and continued on. Jogging into a convenient store and shoving all the things she needed into her bag, her thoughts went to how she'd need to mark this store clean.. Charles walked behind her, keeping guard for the both of them.

The store was already almost empty, but she was took things others left behind. lighters, candles, stale crackers, magnets, she even grabbed expired candy. Charles pulled her to the door, causing her to look up from her jumbo packet of soap bars. A small cluster of ghouls were walking towards the store. Kathleen grabbed her gun and put the silencer on, then went to the broken windoe to shoot. There was only about five of them, but she didn't want to risk hurting Charles.

She took a deep breath, then shot at the first one. It fell to the ground immediately. Kathleen sat still for a moment, making sure it was dead, then continued. Soon all the ghouls laid lifelesly on the ground, dark red blood oozing out from their heads. Kathleen took a shaky breath and exited the convenience store.

It was almost scary how this place used to be filled with people on Saturday mornings. People came for the ice cream at the parlor. Or to shop at the few local boutiques. Hair cuts were had at the saloon, and groceries were bought at the supermarket.

But now it was eerily quiet, with the ocassional dead guy stopping by. Kathleen walked into a boutique and began grabbing everything she thought would fit. It didnt matter if it was ugly, fashion didnt matter. She went behind the counter to see if they had anything useful. Three unopened water bottles sat beside a case of black sharpies. She took the sharpies and bottles and put it in the ever growing bag. It was starting to get heavy, causing her muscles to scream with pain.

Kathleen looked up and saw that the sun was in the middle of the sky, and predicted it to be mid day. Shs deciding to leave and head back to the apartment, she still had to do some farming,

Right as she buckled herself up in the car she heard the sound of a gun shot, she froze. Charles ears perked up and Kathleens mind was racing with thoughts. Charles licked her face, taking her out of her frozen state.

She pressed down the pedal, causing the car to go extremely fsst downt he road. "please make a sound" she muttered, clutching the wheel tightly. Another shot rung through the air. It was close.

Kathleen took a left turn and sped as fast as possible, the sounds of yelling was heard. There it was. A group of people shooting a large herd of ghouls. Kathleen backed up and purposefully drove the car into the glass window behind her, causing the ghouls to turn to her.

She stuck her head out to show them she was there, and began to shoot at the ones coming at her. She rolled the windows up, unclipped the rope that connected Charles and her, and locked him in the car.

She took out her machete and ran over, killing as many ghouls as possible while holding her breath. Her chest began to tighten at the fear of being near them, but continued to kill of as many as she could. "Over here!" one shouted to another. The herd began to circle around her, but she continued shoving her machete through their foreheads and into their brains.

She began to run out of breath,, but continued, knowing she needed to kill them before panicking. Daddy taught me better than this, she thought, pushing herself to continue. She threw her arm back and threw it forward, slicing two ghoul heads in half.

Kathleen pulled her pistol out and began to shoot as many walker as she could, all of them trying to near her or someone in her eyesight. "Daryl over here!" A gruff voice shouted. The group of ghouls was thinning, but it was still a threatening amount.

Kathleen could feel her muscles scream for a rest, but she continued on. A ghoul that was nearing her had a ripped veil, and one of her arms missing. She quickly shot her and looked around, trying to find some more ghouls. She stopped in her tracks, seeing a large steel door wide open. She looked up, trying to see what this place was.

Have I cleared it? She asked herself, but soon found the answer. It was the Town Courthouse. A place were many things that included law happened, especially marriage.

She hadn't cleared the Courthouse, it was actually overrun, and had taken her group four days to contain. Kathleen ran towards the door, shooting ghouls on her way. She threw her body against it, trying to get it shut. But many types of limbs were sticking out and trying to get her. Arms, legs, heads, everything.

She gritted her teeth and planted her feet on the ground, trying to get it shut. But the limbs were keeping it from shutting, and she'd need help with it. Kathleen looked up, seeing a boy around her age running over to her aid.

He shot at the ghouls inside the doorway, while grabbing his knife with one hand. Kathleen grabbed her machete and quickly handed it to him, it'd be more effective.

He shot at the ghouls inside while tearing arms and legs off. Kathleen couldn't hold out much longer, she felt her feet start to slip. More people slammed their bodies into the door while two others helped with the boy. In no time the door slammed shut and Kthleen slid down the door, breathing heavily in happiness and relief.

She finished her mental victory party and opened her eyes to see the group of people staring at her. "Hi, I'm Kathleen" she panted.

A man with a medium length greying beard squatted down to her level, and extended his hand. "I'm Rick."


	3. Chapter Two

"We can't stay here. We've made to much noise" Kathleen said. She took Ricks hand and got up onto her feet. "Well we need to get to Alexandria" a man said, from behind Rick. Kathleen raised a eyebrow and took her hand away from Ricks. "Alexandria?" she asked, perplexed.

She was trying to hide her excitement. People, there were people in front of her. Real people that were alive and not trying to kill her. She almost wanted to tear up at the thought.

"It's a community" the same man said. "Where is it?" she asked, tilting her head to one side. "On the borderline" he answered. The borderline? That was a hour from here, maybe two.

"Well then its a few hours from here, and the suns about to go down. Traveling at night is to risky around here" she said. The town she was in might have only been filled with a few herds of ghouls. But outside and on the highway was a mess. Ghouls were walking around on it for miles on end, and any back road would be just as dangerous now.

"Do you have a vehicle we could take to get there, maybe two?" Rick asked. Kathleen almost laughed. Give up her fully equipped vehicles to a bunch of strangers? Kathleen had plans for those vehicles and they didn't involve giving them up. "Yes, but I dont just give away my supplies, nor my cars" She said, crossing her arms over her chest and and looking at them.

"Thats smart of you. But maybe we could make a deal?" Rick asked. She thought for a moment and sighed, what did she have to lose? A lot to be honest, she had food, a secure home, Charles. But to be honest she was done with being her, being alone. So why not take a few risks?

She looked back up at the sky and saw the sun was setting, time was closing in on them. They needed to move. "We can discuss it over at my place" she said, walking over to her truck. she opened her car door and looked behind her. They stood back in there places, staring at her with skeptical looks on their faces.

"Its about to get dark and im hungry" she explained. "Are you guys coming?" They all moved along and hopped into the back of the truck. Rick got in the cab with a baby in his arms. Kathleen hadn't seen a baby since before. She used to babysit a two a year old on her apartment floor. He was a chubby little thing.

"Are you by yourself?" Rick asked. Kathleen frowned and shrugged. "I have Charles" she said, tilting her head towards the large dog that sat between them. "Thats it?" he asked, Kathleen could tell he was just being cautious of his people, and she respected that. But she didn't really like the twenty questions that was going on between them. "Yes its just me and Charles, anything else?" she snapped. The rest of the ride was silent.

She pulled up into the Tower Heights parking lot and connected the cord to Charles collar so that they wouldn't be separated. She opened the car door and hopped out, landing on her feet with a quiet Thwap sound. The group of people climbed out of the truck and eyed the large building. "Its cleared" she muttered to them.

They followed her into the building, guns ready and knives drawn. She rolled her eyes at the group. It was cleared, nothing needed to be worried about. Once they had reached the fifteenth floor, her floor, they walked into her apartment.

She set Charles from from the cord, letting him run to his spot by the fire place. "You guys can take any of the places on this floor, its the safest. Im gonna start on dinner" she informed them. They nodded and slowly left, leaving her to cook.

She took out the noodles and various vegetables, ready to begin. After twenty minutes it was ready and she had time to wash up a bit. She hadn't gotten the chance to see how she looked yet, but she knew it wasn't great. Once she was in the bathroom she took a long look at herself and felt as if she were about to cry. Dried blood coated her face and hat.

Kathleen felt bile rise in her throst but she ignored it and began to wash her face off with soap and a washcloth. Once she was done with her face she inspected the rest of herself. Her jeans were a little dirty, along with her jacket, but her hands had blood and dirt crusted under her nails.

Her eyes widened and she could no longer hold her vomit down. All day she had held that in (along with her screams) and now it was all let out. Her screams were muffled but her vomiting, which caused her body to stress out more and continue its emptying process.

Once she was done saying goodbye to her apple that she had for breakfast, she scrubbed her hands until they were bright red and raw. She brushed her teeth and took her hat off. All of her hair had fallen out of its bun, causing it to fall down her back in messy tangles. She ran her fingers through it a few times before walking out and taking her jacket off. She'd need to scrub the blood off of it before bed, but for now she needed to let the people know that the food was ready.

She walked into the hall that had all the doors to the apartments, tried to figure out which one they were in. After a while she heard voices coming from the one furthest from hers. She walked over and was about to knock when she heard a voice say her name.

"Kathleen is a kid, we can't leave her here" one voice said. "She can be dangerous" another replied. People began to talk over each other, all sharing their opinions on her. She stood, angry and insulted. These people believed she was going to hurt them?

She let them keep their weapons on them for heavens sake! Which she most likely shouldn't have done. "Calm down guys" one said, authority in their voice. Everyone quieted down to listen to what the man said, it sounded to be that mans voice, Rick was it?

"I'll ask her a few questions over dinner, and we'll go from there" he finalized. Kathleen remembered thats why she came to get them and knocked on the door. "Dinners ready" she said loudly, so they'd hear her. "We'll be there in a minute!" Rick said.

Kathleen walked back into her home and began to dished out servings of the veggie pasta she made. Kathleen had always loved to cook, it was a burning passion she had inherited from her mother. The thought made her frown.

The group of people began to file into her house, awkwardly standing, watching her finish dishing out the last plate. "Please take one" she said, giving them a small smile. They continued to stare. "We don't know if you didn't do nothing to it" a man said. He had a crossbow slinged over his shoulder and a black vest on.

Kathleen sighed and quickly counted to ten, like she always did. "I'll take the first bite if your so worried" she offered. They stared at her, waiting. Rolling her eyes she grabbed a fork and twirled a few noodles onto her fork and ate it. She slwoly chewed to add affect and raised a eyebrow at them.

"Well im not dead" she said sassily, taking a plate and walking over to the living room to sit beside Charles. They all took a plate and sat down. The tension in the air could've been cut with Kathleens machete, which she still had in her sheath. "How have you survived for so long" a asian looking man asked.

Kathleen shrugged and ate another large fork of pasta to buy time. How had she survived? Well she hadn't really survived. She had people do that for her for the longest time, and then when it was just her, she was practically already dead.

She'd survive by doing a supply run every now and then and living off of it until she had nothing left from it. She had her garden that someone made for her so long ago. Some days she'd lay in bed and weep, never moving from her spot.

"Got lucky" she said. Kathleen didn't elaborate much because she didn't want them in her business. "How long have you been here by yourself" a femine voice asked. It was a woman with greying short hair and a hard look on her face. "Around a year, and I haven't been by myself. I have Charles" she said.

At hearing his name being said, Charles perked up and licked the side of her face. Kathleen scrunched her face up in disgust and giggled "No Charles" she said, but everyone could tell she wasn't really scolding him.

They all smiled or chuckled at the action. Upon seeing how she was around the dog their opinions of her began to soften. Rick decided it was the best time to ask the questions. If he didn't now he never would. "Kathleen we have a few questions we'd like to ask" Rick said. Everyone in the room straightened up and quieted down any whispered conversations they were having.

"Why?" she asked, giving them a fake confused look. She knew why they wanted to ask, she had heard it from when she was eavesdropping, but she didn't want them to know that. "Well if you answer these right, we'd like to invite into our group, so you wont be alone anymore" he said.

Kathleen looked down at her plate and said "I've never been good with tests." She was trying to lighten the mood before it all went dark, but no one laughed. "Its not a hard one. Only three questions" Rick responded with a hard and serious tone.

Kathleen nodded and played with the last few noodles on her plate, waiting for the three in pending questions.

"How many walkers have you killed?" he asked. Kathleen wanted to laugh, how many? How was she supposed to keep count. Was she supposed to count each one as she stopped them from functioning. How?

"I dont know" she said, continuing to play with her food. "How many people have you killed?"

Kathleen froze. Why would she tell them? Why did she have to? Maybe she didn't want to be part of the group after all. It seemed scary to say the number out loud, but she did it anyways. "Three" she rasped. Her throat was trying to feel dry yet she also felt as if she was about to vomit again.

"Why?"

Why? Because she had to, because if not she'd be gone and as selfish as it sounds, she wasn't ready to die. Which was funny because some days she'd wish to just die, but she was to much of a coward to end it.

"Because I had to" she said, her voice cracked at the end of sentence and she felt all her food raising. Getting up and dashing to her bathroom, she hurled.

Thinking of the three she killed made her feel vile and terrible. Like a disturbing villian in a comic.

She did what she had to with those three. If she hadn't ended it then everything her community had built up would've gone to shit and been for nothing. Yet here she was, still standing strong.

Who was it?

The two year old that chewed on her hair and giggled at the way she would accidentally lispth at the end of a sentence most times. The little boy named Todd who was four when he turned. He had a high fever and no one could help him. They didn't have any medicine to help him. His parents didn't want to put him through such a painful process, but they couldn't do it. So she did.

A guy thst was two years older then her. He had become a part of the community three monthw after the world had fallen, and he had charmed Kathleen into oblivion. On a run he had gotten bite, but hid it. So when her and Drake where having a heated make out session in his room and she took off his shirt, all was revealed. He began to cry hysterically and talking about how he wasn't ready and it wasn't his time.

But they both knew they couldn't stop it. He begged her to kill him, to end it before he could hurt her. His parents had died a week into the apocalypse. She was the closest thing he had to family. it was tragic and tear filled. He admitted he loved her and then, he was bleeding, snd she was crying. And he was gone.

The last? Kathleen didn't like talking about the last not very much. The man was so amazing to her, but towards the end became a monster. Her father did things he shouldn't have, and killed people he shouldn't have.

And one night he tried to hurt her, so she killed him. She shot him in the head and ended it. She cried, weeped, and begged for him to come back. But he didn't and he never would.


	4. Chapter Three

Everyone had left for bed. It was somewhere around midnight and while Kathleen was sure the group of interrogators were sound asleep, she was not. Her mind raced with thoughts and images.

For the last year she had spent her time emptying the town of all its goods and surviving with little to no communication. The idea of being around other people was thrilling, and while she wanted nothing more then to be surrounded by them. She couldn't shake the feeling of unease that rested at the pit of her stomach.

She didn't know these people and she already had a amazing set up in Tower Heights. What if she went with them and it didnt go well? What if they weren't nice people, or if the place wasn't secure enough? Kathleen was the kind of person who liked answers.

But in this world that was something she always had to push down, because almost every question was left unanswered. Kathleen sat up from her fetal position and pushed the covers off her body. She needed fresh air. She felt as if she were trapped in those four wall of her bedroom, and her breath began to speed up.

Kathleen slipped on a pair of battered converse and took her machete. She left her apartment and embarked on her short journey to the roof.

The roof was where she could get air, it was safe and secluded. She pushed open the rusted metal door and walked out into the cool breeze of the Virginia air. Judging by the change of weather and color, it was turning into fall. And soon she wouldn't be able to leave her house without being bundled up in layers upon layers of thick clothes. She'd have to stock up on her food and wood. Hibernation was coming, along with winter.

Goosebumps rose on her legs, making her shiver. She was in a pair of short spandex shorts and a long sleeved black shirt with a flannel tee on top. Kathleen walked over to the edge of the building and sat down, looking at all the scary creatures that roamed below. She liked the fact that she remained untouched at the top of the tall building, that they could try all they wanted, but they could never hurt her. At least not from up there.

She heard the crunch of gravel beneath a pair of feet before she saw the person. She tightened her grip on her machete and turned around to see a sleepy teenage boy. It was the one that had helped her earlier in the day.

"I heard you come up, wanted to make sure it wasn't something bad" he said sheepishly. Kathleen grinned and patted the spot next to her. He was quick to walk over and sit down on the ledge, looking below. "Thank you for earlier" she said.

"You were the one that saved us" he replied. The monsters below groaned in need, wanting something to fill their desperate starvation. Kathleen got a handful of gravel from the flooring and let it trinckle out from within her closed palm. She watched on as they followed the noise the gravel made, and searched in utter confusion for it. "I just merely helped, nothing much to it."

Kathleen never took compliments well. She always felt as if she didn't need them and that turning them down was what she should do.

The boy looked at her for a moment and sighed "are you going to come with us tomorrow. To alexandria?" he asked. Kathleen shrugged her shoulders and ran her fingertip over the blade of her large knife. "I really don't know, am I allowed?" she asked, the boy nodded. The idea of following them was nice, and while images of riding off into the sunset danced in her mind, she knew that was far from the truth.

"I've just met you guys, I dont even know your names" she confessed. Her voice was soft like silk, and the boy could've sworn it got lost in the wind. "Of course your allowed, your answered the questions right. And for the names, you'll learn them in time" he said. She nodded and pressed her finger down a little bit harder on the blade. She bit her lip from the dull pain and watched as blood oozed from her fingertip.

"I'm Carl" he said. She smiled at the name and wiped the blood off onto her thigh. Carl seemed like a name for a old man with a fat saggy belly. But for some reason it seemed like a good name for him. Don't get her wrong, he didn't have a fat saggy stomach, nor was he old. But it just seemed to fit him. Like the name wouldn't fit anyone else, but it was just right for the boy that sat beside her.

"Kathleen" she murmured. The wind picked up and her hair wipped around her. She shivered as the flannel no longer kept her at the perfrct temperature. "Abraham might be mad that he wont be the only ginger in the group anymore though" he joked.

She laughed softly and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Her hair was a dark red that curled at her elbows. It was a thick, frizzy, curly mess and the humidty that the summer had brought had only worsened it. She couldn't wait for the fall weather to kick in so her hair wasn't similar to a afro anymore.

"Nothing can get rid of us" she said back, a smile on her face. "Tell me, how many souls have you had the pleasure of sucking?" he asked. She laughed, a full belly laugh and shook her head. The smile on her face was face splitting and showcased her perfect white teeth. "Oh I lost count after a hundred." They were both laughing with large smiles on their faces and tears at the corner of their eyes.

The wind had continued to pick up speed and caused Kathleen to bring her knees to her chest and stare at the sky in wonder. A smile was still on her face and she couldn't remember the last time she truly smiled. Carl wrapped something around her shoulders but she was to busy staring in awe to acknowledge it. The stars were out and shining bright, blazing out beems of silver.

The moon was full that night and Kathleen smiled, remembering a story her mom would tell her when she was small. Kathleen had been fascinated with the nights sky ever since the first time she saw it. It was a wonderous thing with more then it let you see. She hummed in content and shut her eyes, letting the air snip at her cheeks and wip her hair around. She always felt as if nothing could do her harm when the moon was out and its children, the stars, were shining.

"Have you ever heard the story about the moon and the sun?" she asked him. Her voice cracked at the end. The memories of her mother flashed before her eyes, but she pushed them back. "No?" he said. She looked st him and smiled, then began her story.

"The moon had met the sun once and found he loved her so much, that he died every night to let her breathe. He died and the sun came out and brought us light. But every night he would die, no matter what. It didn't matter that the wolves wanted to howl at him for eternity. Or that the ocean needed him to move. He'd die and sacrifice it all for her. And one die every tens of years, they'd meet again. And he'd hold her beauty in his mind until he got to see her again. And he'd die every night for her, again."

It was silent, the only sounds being heard were the sounds of the ghouls. Kathleen didn't mind the silence, she was to busy paying attention to the stars. She smiled and pointed to a constellation. "Thats the big dipper" she said. Carl looked at the constellation and listened to her story about it. He was fascinated at how much she knew about the sky, about the universe that was up above.

He wondered if that was why she was out tonight, to look at it all. He wondered if maybe there was a reason her voice cracked while she told all these stroies, and why. He watched as she droned on and on, not once stopping to ask if he was bored. He wasn't.

Kathleen sighed realized that she wss finally tired, and that her trapped feeling was gone. "I should go to sleep" she said. She scooted back from the edge and got up, handing the jacket that Carl had given her back to him. "It was nice talking to you" she said. Carl quickly got up and smiled at her. He had to look down to look at the small girl that was only five inches.

"It was. Maybe we can do it again, when we get to Alexandria" he said, with hope in his voice. She smiled at him and began to walk away. Once she was at the door, she turned to look at him. He was staring after her with a small smile on his face. She blushed and said "Hopefully" before descending down the flight of stairs to her room.


	5. Chapter Four

The sounds of pancake batter sizzling on the pan filled the room that everyone was sitting in. Conversation flowed easily for all of them except Kathleen, she kept her mouth shut. It wasn't to hard to make the pancakes as one would think, since there was a chicken coop on the roof, along with vegetables, and she had secured a farm a few months ago that had cows. She visited them often.

Kathleen was waiting for one of them to bring up how she couldn't go with them, that she had answered wrong and that it was a shame that she couldn't go along. Even if Carl had told her last night that was accepted in, he could've been lying to give her a false since of hope.

There were only a few people waiting for their plates of pancakes left and the batter was running low. After cooking all of them she handed the plates to the few strangers waiting, one being Carl, nd went to grab a stale protein bar. There wasn't enough batter for herself and it was okay, she had made herself pancakes a few days ago. While it seemed like the people around her hadn't in years.

Her wet hair was braided down her back and she wore light capris that stopped mid calve and a blue flannel that was buttoned up to her neck. Her Doc Martins stumped on the floor, making loud noises that were dulled by the roar of conversation.

It was lovely, the sound of words escaping other peoples mouths. The words weren't her own and they weren't created in her head. All of it was real and wonderful. Her heart fluttered with happiness and a small smile crossed her face.

She lifted herself onto the counter and sat there while nibbling on the stawberry flavored protein bar. She sighed with satisfaction and leaned her back against the cabinets. Her eyes fluttered shut and her body relaxed.

It was a lovely thing, to be surrounded by people, and she hoped to feel it everyday. It was what she had been hoping for, company. People to help keep her sane and joke around with her. To help protect her and be like a family to her. All she had was Charles, but he couldn't say anything back. Kathleen knew that if she hadn't had the sweet great dane she would've let go of her loosening grip on her humanity a long time ago.

She would've shut down and died, wether from starvation, idiotic decisions, or suicide. The latter one had nestled itself into Kathleens mind a long time ago, when her father was still around, but not really around. She wondered if being in a group would stop such thoughts. would it make them vanish and never return? Would she be happy and safe with this group? And why was she fretting over something that most likely wouldn't happen. Being in the group, that is.

Carl had noticed the smile that was on Kathleens face slowly transform into a frown. He watched as she zoned out and and looked deep in thought. He wanted to go up and shake her, make all the bad thoughts float away. But he couldn't do such a thing, not with everyone around. He had to keep the tough façade up, and pretend that he was disinterested in Kathleen. When really it was the opposite.

Kathleen lost her train of scary thoughts and blinked several times, trying to make her vision unblur itself. She realized that she was sucking on her protein bar rather then nibble it and she blushed in embarrassment. it didn't seem like anyone was paying attention to her, but it was still mortifying that she had drool dribbling down her chin.

She pulled her flannel sleeve up to her wrist and whiped away the saliva and inwardly groaned in disgust. Kathleen shoved the last bite in her mouth and hopped off the counter. Her feet landed with a loud Thud and the people turned to look at her.

A girl with shirt brown wavy hair gave her a smile and said "These pancakes are delicious. Haven't had any for a long time, thanks for the treat." Kathleen gave her a small smile and nodded. All eyes were on her now and she felt uncomfortable from it. "Your Welcome" Kathleen muttered. Charles came up to her and nudged her leg, making her chuckle. She squatted down to pat his head and give him a light kiss on the nose. Some rumble came back from conversation and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Kathleen took the empty mixing bowl and went to wash it when Rick had walked up to her. She gently placed the glass bowl in the sink and turned to look at him. He offered her a small smile and squatted down to her short 5'0 foot frame. "You started packkng yet?" he asked. Kathleens eyes widened in surprise and a loud squeal left her lips. "Really?" she asked, her hands came up to cover her mouth to muffle her squeal. Rick nodded and patted her head, "You better start. We leave in a bit" he said.

Kathleen nodded and walked to her room in a fast pace. Quickly she grabbed her old purple suitcase from under her bed and began shoving everything in sight into it. She folded photos and put them in socks. All of her fathers flannels were the first to be folded and strategically placed so that she could fit as much as possible into it. The door opened to her room and she stopped shoving all of her undergarments into its pocket and turned to see Carl awkwardly standing there with his hands shoved in his front pockets and his eyes roaming all over her room.

"My dad wanted me to see if you needed help" he said. She shoved her undergarments into its pocket with hast and zipped it up. She didn't want him seeing any of her underwear. She blushed at the thought and went to grab all of her pants "um could you put two pairs of shoes in that rucksack, along with anything that looks important."

Carl began stuffing random things in the bag, one eye looking at the objects all around, and the other on her. He may have had a nice talk with her last night and she seemed to be no harm, but she could still pull something and hurt him.

Kathleen began to hum the tune to a Johnny Cash song. Before everything Kathleens dream was to become a singer and sell out at madison square garden. She had a dream of influencing millions of people to do good with their lives and love one another.

She remembered waking up every Sunday morning to her dad telling her church was starting in a hour, and her mom making pancakes while loudly singing Ring Of Fire. Kathleen smiled fondly at the memory and finished packing her suitcase. Everything was inside it.

Well by everything she meant all her clothes, pictures, and books. She went onto her backpack and shoved all her ammo into it, along with her pencils and notebook. She zipped up her heavy backpack and placed it on top of her suitcase. A content sigh escaped her lips and she looked up to see Carl watching her with a dazed look on his face.

Kathleen blushed and and waved her hand in front of his face. He blinked many times before muttering out a apology and excuse. Something about "I was thing of Alexandria." Kathleen bought it and took the heavy rucksack from his outstretched hands.

Little did Kathleen know that he was really thinking about her. He hadn't been around a girl near his age in forever, Beth was only about two years older then him but she treated him like a child, a little brother. She was gone now so it truly didn't matter anymore. But Kathleen seemed to be near his age, and she didn't treat him like a child. He loved it.

Kathleen sighed and put on the Cavaliers hat that she wore everyday. Her braid was shoved through the hole in the back, and the bill of the hat was shielding her eyes. "We need to pack food and blankets right? " she asked softly. "I think so, we'll have to ask my dad" he said, rubbing his neck. Kathleen nodded and went to the door, about to open it.

"I believe your a good person Kathleen, but that's my family out there, so don't try and pull anything" he blurted out. Afterwards he wanted to take the words back, but he couldn't and he could see that it had already effected her. "Im not like that" she said softly. Any trace of happiness had vanished. She knew why he was cautious and worried, but she couldn't deny how hurtful the words were. And how she might have thought of him to be a different person then he was.

Two-Thirty struck on the wall clock in Kathleens emptied living room. The furniture was still there but the pictures were gone. Any trace of making it feel like a home had vanished and was replaced with a cold feeling that ran up her spine. All the stuff was packed in the five cars they were taking. Food, blankets, clothes, weapons, and even her chickens that used to be on the roof.

It was weird to say goodbye to her safe haven. To turn her back on what she knew, just for a group of strangers. One of the ladies from the group came back up to tell her everything was ready. Kathleen gave the place one last once over and turned her back on it. The lady, Michonne, led her downstairs where she could hear the sound of multiple engines roaring to life.

everyone was getting into cars once she left the building. She locked it up like she used to, just in case, and gave it one last farwell. The place held so many happy memories, so many things from the past, but it also held such dark ones to. Ones she would never want to remember, and if she could, she'd make herself forget. But she couldn't unfortunately, so she was stuck with a dull weight in her chest, and scary memories accompanying it.

Kathleen got into the car that Charles was in and buckled herself up. Rick was driving with Michonne in the passenger seat. Charles was in the middle, separating her from Carl, who held the child she did not know the name for. The car zoomed out of the parking lot and followed her blue ford, her baby. She wondered how long the ride would take, but didn't ask.

Kathleen pulled her legs up to her chest and leaned her head against Charles. He turned his head and licked her face, causing her to giggle and wipe the slobber away. He was a sweet dog that loved her. They had gotten him two weeks before the dead started living, and had grown up in such a harsh world. Like her, but she was worse. At least Charles was a oblivious dog, where as Kathleen was stuck with everything.

This new leap into something new was good for the both of them. But better for herself. For she hadn't had a lot of time left before her sanity had ran out the door


	6. Chapter Five

They had been on the road for a hour. The car was silent, the only noise being made was Charles panting and and the baby (who she had still not learned the name of) making little gurgle noises every once and while.

Carl had her on his lap, a smile on his face. The little child brought happiness to him, she could tell.

Kathleen remembered Todd, the little blonde boy she used to watch. He brought happiness to her, just like the little baby did to Carl. Charles looked at the squealing baby and licked her leg.

She began to giggle loudly, looking at the large dog. Kathleen smiled at the two and softly pet the dogs head. He groaned and leaned into her touch, his leg kicking up in happiness.

The two teens watched as the dog rolled onto his back, half his body on Kahleens lap, and made her continue to pet him. "Whats her name?" Kathleen asked Carl. The baby tried to lean over and rub Charles with Kathleen, but Carl kept her on his lap, protecting her. "Judith" he replied in a clipped tone.

Kathleen sighed. Ever since his warning to her back in her room, he had been reserved and wouldn't even look in her direction. She hadn't done anything wrong. She'd let his whole family eat her food and stay under her roof. She at least thought he'd be nice to her.

Kathleen was getting annoyed with him. He had been so nice the other night, and now he was a total prick. She wondered if maybe he was different at night, nicer maybe? But the thought was silly and she soon vanished it from her mind.

"Thats a lovely name" she said softly, looking at him. Kathleen was never one to put her heart on her sleeve amd show her true emotions, at least she tried not to be. So she always opted for a emotion that was easy for her, fake calmness. She pretended to be happy all the time for the sake of sanity, and she didn't know if she'd ever really stop.

And that was something that irritated Carl. She always seemed happy unless she was lost in thought. And how could someone so lonely act so happy? He didn't know it was a façade, and it scared him. Because the crazy ones were always happy.

Judith stared at Kathleen with her mouth open, drool dripping from it, and tried to crawl over to her. Carl wrapped his hands around her tiny waist and pulled her back, wanting to keep her from the broken girl.

Kathleen smiled at the small child and made a funny face, trying to hear her true happiness. It was wonderous listening to a child being happy in this world, it was almost infectious. Judith laughed loudly and clapped her hands, as if saying 'do it again.'

Kathleen was about to continue when the car came to a halt. Kathleen didnt have her seat belt so her shoulder rammed into the front sit. She hissed in pain and rubbed it. "S'your fault for not wearing a seat belt" Carl said. She rolled her eyes and shot back "its the apocalypse, should it matter?"

She didn't want to admit that if something happened to her she'd be okay with it. Because she might be to much of a coward to end it all herself, but she was fine with letting it happen some other way.

Everyone began to get out of the car so Kathleen clipped the blue cord onto Charles' collar and opened her door. When Kathleen stepped out she drew in a shaky breath. There was a gate in front of her, and the sound of laughing children filled her ears.

Kathleen's breath caught in her throat at the sound. It was beautiful.

She slammed her door and grabbed a few things from the trunk. A few people came and helped her carry it all. There was a loud noise, her head shot up with her hand on her holstered gun, only to find out it was the gate opening.

Quickly she slammed the trunk and walked over to everyone else. Excitement filled her chest, and a grin grew on her face. She bit her lip to keep from showing it, wanting to look neutral, as everyone else looked.

The gate was fully open now and they all walked in, clustered together. Rick and another man were talking, but Kathleen heard nothing. Her mind was so focused on where she was, what was happening, the way the breeze flowed around her, the people around here. It was all happening, she only hoped this place was good.

Aaron, whose name she had learnt this morning, guided them to a house. Apparently Deanna, Alexandria's leader, Was inside and going to question them. The idea of being questioned again sickened Kathleen. She already had to go through it once with Ricks group, she didn't want to do it again.

Rick went in first and everyone else stood around talking to one another or sat down and waited. Kathleen went and sat on the steps of house. She took out her gun and began to unassemble it on her lap. Someone sat next to her, but she didnt look up from her gun.

"Its real nice having you with us" a femine country voice said. Kathleen looked beside her to see a girl named Maggie seating next to her. "Thanks" she said, giving her a small smile. "I'm happy you guys accepted me in."

"You seem nice, and you've been very helpful. Its always nice when someone else good comes along" Maggie said. Kathleens smile widened.

"Im sorry for whatever happened to you. But don't think your alone because somethimg has happened to us all" she said. Kathleen gave her a slow nod and sighed.

"I know everyone has been through something, no one can survive in this world untouched by grief and inhumane thoughts. Its what this world is, unfortunately" Kathleen said. She took a long glance at Maggie and said "Im sorry for what happened to you too."

Maggie nodded and gave her knee a squeeze before standing up and walking away.

Kathleen sat and wondered what had happened to everyone else. What was their tragic story? Hopefully she would find out soon.

Kathleen quickly reassembled her gun and set it in her holster. She looked up at everyone and saw them either waiting with a stoic look on their face, or speaking with one another. Michonne had Judith in her arms while she said something to make Carl laugh and shake his head. So the kid could smile during daylight, what a wonder.

Charles groaned from beside her, his head tucked on top of his paws and his eyes drooping closed. Kathleen smiled and let out a soft chuckle. He looked so adorable, almost like a puppy.

The door behind Kathleen opened, And she saw Rick walk out with a blank look on his face. The woman behind him smiled and said somryhing quietly to him before looking down at Katgleen. "Your next, im guessing?" she said with a soft smile on her face.

Kathleens eyes widened and she nodded. Quickly she shook Charles awake and followed the woman into the breezy house. She relinquished in the feeling and followed the woman into the room. The room held a single chair on one side while a couch was on the other. A coffee table separated both of them and two bookshelves were behind the one cushioned chair.

Kathleen walked over to the bookshelve and at the many stories scattered in it. Many authors like Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, and more were stored there. Some were classics while others were ones that had been new. Kathleen found one that had all the Beatles songs in it. She held onto it and turned around to see the woman setting up a camera. "Are you okay if I record this?" she asked. Kathleen merely nodded and sat down on the single cushioned chair.

Charles layed down at her feet, preparing to fall asleep again. Kathleen sat with one leg crossed with the other, the book was on her lap and her hands grapsed onto it, not wanting to let it go. "Whats your name sweetie?" the woman asked. Kathleen tilted her head to one side and squinted.

"Kathleen Rosannet Archibald" she asnwered sharply. She looked to the side and saw a window, her gaze fixated on it. "Yours?" she asked back.

"Deanna Monroe" she replied. "How old are you" Deanna asked. Kathleen raised a eyebrow and turned to look at her "how old are you?" she said, emphasizing "you."

Denna laughed and shook her head "a high number, how about that" she said. Kathleen nodded and softly replied "fifteen."

If Kathleen was right about the month it was then she had turned fifteen two weeks ago, but she couldn't truly be sure. "How long have you been with these people?"

Kathleen sighed and stared at a tree outside "about a day." From her peripheral vision she could see the shock on Deanna's face. It was a funny face and made her inwardly chuckle. "How did you meet them?"

Kathleen was growing tired of answering questions. All it was, was question after question. No "nice weather we're having" or "thats a nice dog you have." Just question after question. "I found them fending off a herd of ghouls, I decided to help them" she replied. Putting one on her knee, she supported her head with her hand that cupped her chin. The birds outside flew into their nests and settled down into them.

It reminded her of what they were doing now. The were flying to safety, their nests. "That was courageous of you," Kathleen shrugged and continued watching the birds."I just did for them what I would have wanted if I were in that situation."

Deanna at Kathleen for a minute. She was analyzing Kathleen, no doubt about that, and most likely deciding if she was a good enough person for this place. "How long has this place been up?" Kathleen questioned her.

She turned her head to meet her gaze. "Since the beginning. We were sent here to wait for more people, but they never came. We were lucky, they had been building a mall near by. So my Husband Reg and our two sons started to set up this wall. A little while into it more people came and helped."

Deanna's voice held a sense of pride when she said that. Her eyes glimmered with something, and Kathleen had to look the other way.

"We have kids your age here. Water, electricity, food, safety. Ths is a place you can grow up in" she said to the fifteen year old girl. Kathleen shook her and and said "I had almost all of that back at my place."

"Then why did you leave?" Deanna Asks her. Kathleen looks down at ther ground. Theres scuff marks, most likely from shoes. "When you are away from people for a long time. Everything about yourself is questioned. Your sanity, your morals, everything. You forget how to truly be human. Its scary yet real and if you stay by yourself for to long, you won't question yourself anymore, because you are to far gone."

Kathleen looks up from the floor to look Deanna in the eyes "I wasn't questioning myself anymore." Kathleen stands up and pulls lightly on the blue cord to wake Charles up. "Are we done?" she asks. Deanna nods and stands up. She turns the camera off and walks to her front door.

Deanna looks at Kathleen and says before opening the door "I think your wrong. I think you are still questioning everything about yourself."

Kathleen nodded and walked out the door. Kathleen took the steps two at a time and went to stand in a far corner, away from everyone. She stared off into space, thinking about what Deanna said, and came to realize how right she was. She wasn't the deep end yet, but very close to it.

And that frightened her more then the thought of already being to far gone.


	7. Chapter Six

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier" a voice said from behind Kathleen. She was now standing in the kitchen of her new shared house. In her hands she cupped a glass of cold iced water. Her grip tightened on the glass and she turned her head to see Carl standing at the doorway.

"It's fine" she said. Carl stepped forward and stood on the other side of the kitchen counter. His eyes bore into hers with a look that read 'im sorry.'

"No its not. You had been so good to us and in return I was harsh towards you" he said. Kathleen tore her gaze away from Carl and stared down at her cup. "I mean it wasn't the nicest thing" she said, giving him a small smile "but we all have the excuse to be asses every once and a while."

Carl laughed at that. His laugh was refreshing and caused her smile to widen. It lightened up Kathleen and she let a small laugh leave her lips. When he laughed, she couldn't help but laugh too.

"I guess we do" he replied. His tone was light now and the atmosphere had changed from tense to light and happy. "Besides, you can't really trust anyone in this world. So its understandable to act how you did."

"What do you think of this place?" Carl asks. He grabs a apple from a bowl that is placed in the middle of the island and takes a large bite out of it. Kathleen doesn't know why but she imagines him being a ghoul for a second. Instead of him biting a apple he's biting the neck of some bastard or a innocent soul. The thought sends chills down her spine and she has to tighten her grip on her cup to keep from shaking.

"I like it so far. But I haven't seen much of it so I truly don't know" she said. Kathleen held the cup up to her lips and took a large gulp. The icy cool of the water scraped at her throat. Back at her house she never wasted water on ice cubs. But here it seemed like they were careless in some ways. They haven't experienced having to ration water like she had once done.

"The walls seem stable" he commented. Kathleen nodded and sat her empty glass down. For a moment she just stared at the marble island. Her mother had always wanted a house like this. But with the pay checks of a plumer and a waitress, they barely could afford rent for the shitty two bedroom apartment. "They do, but do they guard it?" she asked, a eyebrow raised. They both knew that the answer to that was most likely no. "If they don't then they are idiots" he said, shrugging. "Idiots that hold our lives in their hands" she said.

"That might be true, but if something happens then we get our guns and show them how its done" he said, with a sense of authority. 'Like father like son' she thought. It didn't take a genius to realize that Rick was the leader, it also wasn't hard to realize the two were related. "Apparently theres people here our age" she informed him. Carls whole body perked up, "really? How many?" he asked. Kathleen shrugged and began to walk away "Deanna never said" she said from over her shoulder.

She decided she wanted to explore, find out what this place was like and what it held. Maybe find out if they do in fact gaurd their walls.

Kathleen walked down a empty street. Houses lined the way, standing tall and proud. She shoved her hands into her front pockets of her jeans and took a left turn, towards the wall. It was quiet and no one was around. The cool Virginia breeze hit her in the face, creating goosebumps along her bare arms. She had taken her blue flannel off when she was inside and forgot to put it back on.

She wrapped her arms around her body and began to walk the perimeter. If no one was going to, then she would. Leaves crunched under her Doc Martins, making her happy she wouldn't need to be stealthy for a while. Well she hoped so.

She was about to walk back to the house when a fast movement caught her eye. A girl around her age was rushing towards the wall, a back pack latched on her back and something white in her hands. She was about to slowly back away when the girl noticed her. She stopped running and turned to look at her. The girl raised a eyebrow and stepped away from the wall. "Who are you?" she asked.

Kathleen felt small under the girls harsh gaze and tightened her grip around her body. "Kathleen" she said. The girl looked at her and then looked at something behind Kathleen before saying "you can't tell anyone." Kathleen looked behind her to see Carl standing far away from her, watching her. Once Carls gaze met hers and he realized he had been caught. He moved away from the bush he hid behind and walked towards her. When Kathleen turned her head back around the girl was no where in sight. "What?" she asked, her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"She climbed over the wall" Carl said from beside her. He began to walk towards the wall, but Kathleen reached out and gripped his forearm. "Your dad is going to be watching us all like hawks for a long while. We can't go chasing after suspicious girls, he'd wonder where we are" Kathleen said, Carl sighed and nodded. Kathleen dropped his arm and crossed her arms over her chest. She stared at the wall for a moment before noticing that pegs had been added to the wall. They hadn't been there before, but now they suddenly appeared.

"Well I guess no one gaurds the walls" Carl said. Kathleen chuckled and began to move back towards their house. "Why did you follow me?" she asks him. They fall into step towards the untouched house. They were so close together that they bumped shoulders, yet they didn't seem to notice. "I don't know" Carl mumbled.

But Carl did know and he didn't like why he had followed her. He followed her because he was fascinated with her. He had only known her for about two days yet he was mesmerized by her being. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen a girl near his age since before, or maybe it was becaus she was such a mystery. A question mark hung over her head, and all he wanted to do was get rid of it.

"You don't know yet you followed me?" she asked, she looked at him and raised a eyebrow while giving him a 'don't lie to me look,'

"I was bored and you ran off. I just wanted to see what you were doing is all" he answered. Kathleen looked away and nodded, believing his half lie. "Well now you know" she said to him. They walked up the steps to their new house and were greeted by Daryl gutting a small animal and Carol talking to him about something. They gave them both nods to acknowledge they were there and continued on with their conversation.

Kathleen opened up the front door and stepped inside, she makes for the stairs but Carl says from behind her "Would you have left if you never met us?" Kathleen feels as if this is a personal question, but she honestly doesn't know.

She stops at the bottom steps of the stairs and bites her bottom lip. Thinking for a long while she comes to the conclusion that she wouldn't have. Her place was safe and provided her food, water, and warmth. She would've never left all that behind for a slim chance of finding people.

She's thankful for going out on that run the other day. If she believed in god she would've said it was his plan all along for them to meet. But she doesn't believe in him, if he were real then he isn't some savior. Just some sick bastard letting millions die and practically become cannibals.

Kathleen grips the wooden Banister and shakes her head. She would've stayed inside and withered away. But now she wont, beecause she has people to surround herself with. "No, I wouldn't have." Her voice in squeaky and she lithspe' at the end of her sentence. She's always hated her lithspe, she thought it made her sound weird. But little does she know Carl finds it adorable. "Even if you found out about Alexandria?" he asks.

She wants him to stop pestering her. Because she hates questions, but she sighs and turns to look at him. She shrugs and says " Honestly? This place sounds to good to be true, im waiting for me to wake up in my bed back at Tower Heights. So no, I wouldn't have left. Because I wouldn't have believed it." Kathleen turns back towards the stairs and walks up, deciding to explore the house.

Carl stands in the entry way of the house, processing what she had said. He had learned one new thing about her today, and he couldn't help but beam with pride. Because he had made it his mission to figure out this mysterious girl with the adorable lithspe and auburn hair. And he was one small step closer to figuring her out.

A/N hey! I just wanna say thanks for reading this story and that im sorry this chapter is so short. I just haven't felt well lately. Please leave a review or a follow this story if your enjoying it! Byeez


	8. Chapter Seven

The sun fell upon Kathleens face in rays, causing her to squint her eyes while looking at the oddly shaped clouds. Charles was running around her, happy to be set from his cord, and Kathleen was happy to be able to relax in the sunlight, it had been four days since they were welcomed into Alexandria and they had already handed Rick a powerful job, the Constible.

To be honest Kathleen lost respect in Deanna when she found out. Because while Rick is a nice man, he still is new to the community. Even Maggie is working with Deanna and learning the in's and out's of running Alexandria. It was like Deanna was handing it to them on a silver platter.

Tonight was a welcoming party at Deannas and Rick asked everyone in the group to attend. Kathleen didn't know what to think because the only person she knew in this place (besides the group) was didn't really want to go, But Rick kindly asked them to show up and she didn't want to seem rude.

The sun was slowly going down, causing her to groan in annoyance. She liked laying in the grass, doing nothing. It was peaceful, smiple, and comforting. The fact that she could lay around outside and not fear her life was marvelous. But she was scared that the walls around her weren't strong enough to keep what was around them out.

She had been getting frequent nightmares about the outside and what it held lately. Every night she'd be scared to close her eyes because horrible things would play out in her mind when she would. The night time used to be her safe haven, but in a way it had been twisted around.

Kathleen got up from her spot on the grass and called Charles with her. The dog pounded towards her with his tail wagging at a fast speed, and slober dripping from his mouth. Kathleen smiled at her goofball of a dog and walked up the porch steps towards the front door. Almost everyone was out doing their job, which was another thing Kathleen disliked. Because she was only fifteen Deanna wouldn't give her a job. No matter how much she asked for one.

Kathleen liked laying around in the grass with a carefree spirit, but she didn't like not having anything to do all day. Back at Tower Heights she always had something to do, wether it was a run or planting. Even if she always had something to do, she usually spent her days withering in bed. But now she had people around her, and she didn't need them to think she was weak.

Kathleen stepped into the cool, empty house, and quickly climbed up the stairs to change. The event was formal casual. When she asked what Deanna meant by that, she said to just wear a dress or a nice shirt and clean jeans.

But when she looked in her bag, all she found were flannel shirts, and Deanna specifically told her not to wear one tonight. She huffed and got up, about to go ask around for something, when the doorbell rang.

Kathleen hadn't heard a doorbell since before, and even though it was a silly thing to miss, she did. She quickly rushed downstairs and opened the door, revealing a woman with blonde medium length hair. She had a plastic bag filled with things that she couldn't identify, and a large comforting smile on her face.

"Hi I'm Jessie" she said. Kathleen nodded her head in acknowledgement and said "I'm Kathleen." The silence that followed was unbearing and Kathleen just wanted her to leave so she could get ready. "I didn't know if you had any nice clothes for tonight, so I brought a few I thought would fit" Jessie explained.

"Oh, come in" Kathleen said awkwardly. She opened the front door open more and let Jessie walk in, the plastic bags rustling being the only noise made.

"Ron told me about you and Carl. He's really happy to have more friends" she said as she placed the bag on the kitchen counter.

"I'm glad to be around people my age" Kathleen replied. Jessie pulled out many things from the bag and laid them out on the counter. A dark green skirt with black Intricate swirls on it was the first thing she saw. It was a long, thin silky material and Kathleen just wanted to touch it.

Another was a black tank top that had lace over it. She folded the two items and out it in a pile, then brought out a dark ocean blue flowy dress that was noodle strapped and looked to stop just above the knee.

"Enid doesn't like for me to dress her up" Jessie said. She pushed the two piles towards Kathleen and waited for her to choose. Quickly Kathleen picked up the one with the skirt and finally let her fingers touch the silky fabric.

She hadn't touched silk since before, even then it was a luxurious item she never really got to see. It was silly to be so entranced with the feeling of fabric between her fingers, but the fact that girls wore this before made her smile. "I'll go put this on" she said quietly.

She walked over to the small bathroom that was in the downstairs hallway and closed the door. Kathleen unbuttoned her capris and slid them off. She looked down at her legs and sighed. From all the nightmares she was having, she couldn't hold her food in when she'd wake in a panic. It resulted in her losing any fat on her body and almost made her resemble a skeleton.

Grabbing the skirt she slid her bony legs into it and pulled the skirt up. Thankfully she had a wide waist or it would have slid right off. She unbottoned her grey flannel and widened her eyes at her upper body.

Her legs were bony, but her stomach was looking like it caved in. Kathleen sucked in a breath to see what would happen, and cringed. Even if when she tried to make her stomach look bigger by breathing in deep breathes, you could still count every rib on her body.

Quickly she put the lacy tank top on and tucked it into her skirt. The top was tight on her and gave her sickly skeleton like body look at least close to normal.

Looking into the mirror one last time Kathleen smiled. Her curly auburn hair was in a ponytail, but still looked nice with the dark green skirt and made the redness in her hair pop. She opened the bathroom door and walked back into the kitchen where Jessie stood.

"Do I look okay?" she asked. Kathleen did a little twirl to show her how it looked all around and then stood on the opposite side of the island.

"You look beautiful" she complimented, giving her a smile. "I actually think you'd be cuter without the ponytail."

Kathleen grabbed the elastic band that held her thick frizzy hair in and pulled it out. Her hair fell to her elbows and curled around her face. She usually doesn't have it down anymore since it makes it easier to pull, and it was nice to not have her hair tightly pulled into a braid or ponytail.

"Thank you" Kathleen said, blushing from the compliment. "I feel like im just playing dress up" she confessed.

When she was little and she had to stay home while her parents were at work, she'd dress up in her moms clothes and put a fashion show on for her stuffed animals. She wasn't supposed to be messing with her clothes but Kathleen loved fashion at a young age.

One day when her mom came home early and saw her rifling through her draw. Her mom got so mad that her face turned a bright red and Kathleen was grounded for two weeks. She didn't care, because she just had to be more careful when listening for her mom to come home next time.

"Why do you say that?" Jessie asked. She was putting the blue dress back into the bag when she asked.

Kathleen bit her lip and shrugged. "It was the only time I wore nice things like this" she said. She ran her hands down her waist to feel the silky fabric again. The feeling felt addicting and she loved it.

"Well you look absolutely beautiful" Jessie said to her, giving her a smile. "I have to go, but I'll see you at the party tonight." Kathleen nodded and gave one last "thank you," before the door closed.

Kathleen grabbed her balled up clothes and walked up to her room that she shared with Carl, and put her clothes in the closet. She didn't really want to share a room with Carl, but everyone agree that if anyone needed to share rooms, it was the teenagers.

Which made zero sense to her seeing as teenagers have raging hormones. Not that she was going to use her none existent hormonal moments with him. She wanted to share a room with Tara, they had been getting along quite a lot over the past few days, but since Tara was a adult she got her own room.

Charles was laying on Kathleens twin bed with his head resting on his two large front paws. His eyes were drooping closed with each second that passed. "Charles, c'mon we have to go" she told him, giving him a little shake to wake him up.

Halfway down the staircase Noah came out of the living room in a clean crisp shirt and a nervous expression on his face. "I don't really like stuff like this" he said to her. Kathleen nodded and went over to put her converse on.

"I don't either" she said, looking up from her shoe laces to give him a comofrting smile. "Are you bringing Charles?'' he asked.

Kathleen nodded and stood up, adjusting her skirt and retucking her shirt. "I go everywhere with him, he's my companion" she said, opening the door and looking behind to see a still nervous looking Noah. "Do I look okay?" she asked out of the blue.

She wanted to know if maybe Jessie was lying and she should change. Her own nervous feelings were kicking into overdrive and she felt as if maybe she should just change into a flannel.

"You look amazing" he said. The way he said it sounded sincere and real, so she nodded and walked out of the house. Once on the sidewalk she waited for Noah and walked with him towards Deannas house.

"Even before I hated these kind of things" she said to him, trying to keep the conversation going. The sun was finally down so her best friend, the moon, was out and shining its dull light. Without the sun shining on Alexandria, the place was actually incredibly eerie and reminded her of something out of a movie her parents used to watch when she was supposed to be asleep.

"Me too" he replied. Charles was trotting between the two with his tail wagging back and forth and his nose up in air. It looked like the dog held some sort of confidence and it made Kathleen want to giggle at her dog.

"It seems like its definitely something only extroverts like. And I've always been someone who likes dark corners and books" she said. Kathleen just wanted to make conversation and keep the air from getting awkward.

Almost anytime she tried talking to anyone in the group that wasn't Tara, it got awkward. And Kathleen had been craving human interaction for so long that the awkwardness hanging around a new person brought drove her mad.

"I'm like that too. I don't know why teenagers loved doing wild versions of this before" he said. Kathleen nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. The fall air was starting to kick in and it drove Kathleen mad. She hated the cold weather, the only good it brought her was less frizzy hair. Everything else sucked.

Since she had a naturally tiny body and it already had shrunk from the malnutrition the apocalypse brought, she was always freezing cold until April. Bring along how most of her crops never made it past mid-november and how runs became a hard thing to accomplish when your shivering the whole.

All of those things and more proved why Kathleen despised winters. She may have loved them before, but now they didn't bring a warm feeling of happiness and a sense of togetherness. Now it just brought utter shit, and she hated it.

They finally walked up Deannas steps and knocked on her door. The loud chattering of people could be heard from where they stood and all Kathleen could think was 'this would attract Ghouls.'

Someone came and opened the door for them. They gave a greeting of "Welcome!" and "Theres nonalcoholic drinks in the kitchen." Both the socially awkward teens walked inside and went their separate ways.

Kathleen could see that Noah went and stood in a corner, it seemed like a good idea and she was looking for a empty corner to claim as her own when a man who looked to be in his twenties walked up to Kathleen.

"Dogs aren't allowed at this party" he said, "someone could be allergic." He held a red solo cup in his right hand and she could tell from the strong scent of his breath that he was already wasted. She narrowed her eyes and tighted her grip that she had on her folded arms that rested upon her chest.

"It's the apocalypse, get over your damn allergies" she replied, walking away. Charles walked behind her, looking at the drunk man while giving him a quiet growl. "C'mon Charles" she called after him. The drunk man grabbed her forearm and twirled her around to stare at her again.

"Charles" he said, emphasizing on Charles "Can go back to your house or sit outside. He's a disgusting dog and we don't need him in here."

Kathleen ripped her arm from his flimsy grip and snared "You should go sit outside because you are far more dirty then Charles. Now get out of my face asshole, before your drink is no longer in your cup." She flipped him off and walked away with a sass in her step and a hard look glazed over her eyes.

She walked over to a island in the kitchen where a plate of cookies was placed, and grabbed one to eat. While she was nibbling on her cookie Carl came in. He stood directly across from her and took the last cookie on the plate.

"Carol made these" he said. Kathleen nodded and took the last bite of her cookie. "I'll have to tell, her how good they are later" she replied. The silence drew on after that and Kathleen inwardly sighed.

"I saw what happened over there" he said, nodding his head towards the direction she just had her falling out with the drunk man in. "His name is apparently Nicholas" he informed her.

Kathleen nodded and said "Well thanks for the information." She was making her way towards the exit when he said "You handle yourself well in situations like that."

Kathleen turned around with her arms folded back on her chest and gave him a pointed look. Carl stared back with a look that read "how?" Kathleen rolled her eyes and walked back towards him. "Just because I know how to handle a asshole means nothing" she said.

Carl shrugged and took a sip of apple juice. "But still, you didn't cower or cringe at his obviously alcohol stenched breath."

"Is there a point to this meaningless observation?" she asked him. She cocked a hip to one side while raising a eyebrow. Little did she know but Carl loved the look she was giving him. He didn't know why but she was adorable when she raised one of her eyebrows because she unintentionally scrunched her nose up a bit.

"Just that you know how to handle yourself around drunks" he didn't know why but she flinched as if she were being slapped.

Her eyes narrowed and she said thorugh gritted teeth "I guess its just a talent." She was about to walk away when Jessie and a tall man walked into the kitchen. Jessie was wearing something similar to her outfit but her tank top wasn't lace and her long skirt wasn't green. Jessie spotted and Kathleen and gave her a quick hug.

"We're matching!" she said. Kathleen giggled, nodding her head.

"Did you plan this?" she asked Jessie. Jessie shook her head while laughing.

"No I di-" she was about to continue but the man behind her interrupted her. "Um honey?" he said, fake sincerity dripped off his voice like honey dripping off of a spoon. Kathleen inwardly cringed at his overly sweet actions and watched as he put a hand on her shoulder. Jessie gave a smile to the man behind her and said.

"Oh right, this is my husband Pete. We were just going to go though" she said, pointing to the back door behind Kathleen.

Kathleen nodded and stepped out of their way. "I'll give this back to you once its clean" she said to Jessie, referring to the skirt and shirt she was wearing.

"Oh no keep it" Jessie said, "it doesn't fit me anymore anyway." Kathleen nodded and quietly said "thank you."

"You look really pretty" a voice said behind her. Kathleen jumped up and put her hands on her heart. She had forgotten that Carl was there the whole time.

"Thank you" she mumbled, making her way towards the door. "Where are you going?" he asked. Kathleen opened the door and looked at Carl. "This isn't my kind of thing. I think I'm gonna go to sleep" she said to him.

"Wait here" he replied. Carl walked away towards the living room and Kathleen sighed. "I just wanna go home" she groaned to no one in particular.

Carl came back with one hand behind his back a large grin etched on his face. "What do you have?" she asked. Carl shook his hand and walked out the door with her. He shut the door with his free and walked beside her, still hiding what was behind his back.

"If your taking me somewhere to murder me, can you do it quickly? I wanna go to sleep" she said. Carl laughed and shook his head. "I swear im not trying to murder you" he said.

"Yet" Kathleen mumbled. Carl shook his head and chuckled "you seriously have zero faith in me do you?" he asked. Kathleen shrugged and kicked a rock that was in front of her. She watched as it skidded down the sidewalk and finally stop.

"Am I supposed to?" she asked him, turning to look at him. "I guess? I mean I'm in a group with you which means you should trust me with your life" he said back.

Kathleen rolled her eyes and said "Pa-lease. I just met you a few days ago. Thats not enough time to trust someone." Carl liked this sassy side he was seeing of Kathleen. He smiled at her and looked ahead of them.

The small lake was now in front of them and Carl sat down on the grass near it. Kathleen sat down beside him and let Charles flop down beside her and put his head on her lap.

Finally Carl revealed what was behind his back, beer. "You expect me to drink that stuff?" she said to him. Carl shrugged and popped both the caps open for them.

"Deanna wants us to live a normal teenage life, right?" he said. "Well teenagers drink when they aren't supposed to."

Kathleen shrugged and took a bottle. She put the lid to her lips and took a large sip of it. Kathleen coughed for a moment from the awful taste and weird scrapping feeling it brought against her throat.

"People like that?" she croaked out. Carl sat laughing with a large smile on his face. Kathleen rolled her eyes and took a small sip. "You try it and not choke from the grossness of it" she dared him.

Carl shrugged and took a large swing of the beer. He chugged half the bottle and started to cough half way through. Some of the liquid dripped down his chin and Carl had to pull the bottle away and wipe his chin the sleeve of his shirt.

"How attractive" Kathleen commented sarcastically. She was giggling with her hand over her mouth her and her brown eyes squinted with happiness.

"I know I am" he shot back with a smile on his face. "So It's a little strong, but nothing I can't handle. "

"Oh I'm sure Mr. Noodle arms" she said. Carl playfully glared at her and she broke out into another round of giggles.

"I will have you know I am very strong" he said, showing her his bony bicep and flexing. Kathleen laughed at his failed attempt at looking manly and cooed "you tried."

"Are you drunk already?" he asked her. Kathleen shook her head vigorously, causing her to feel a little nauseous.

"Oh god" she mumbled. She took another sip of beer and laid her back down on the grass. "The night is so pretty" she claimed.

Carl watched as she looked up at the sky with large eyes and a dazed smile across her lips. "Its so beautiful" she said. Her voice dropped a little into a whisper and slowly her smile turned into a frown. "Nothing beautiful lasts Carl" she whispered. "It all just withers away or dies. That's why im happy im not beautiful."

"That's not true" he said. Kathleen turned to look at him and shook her head. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped aroun them. Her head was propped on her knees and her left side was smushed against the grass.

"I guess your right" she said softly, "your still alive." Kathleen gave him a small fake smile and turned around to laid on her back again and look up at the stars.

"And your still alive" he said back. He was hoping she couldn't see his blush. It was a weird compliment to give him, but she called him beautiful. He would've preferred handsome or sexy, but beautiful? Beautiful still meant good looking, so he'd take it.

"I'm not really alive anymore" she said. Her voice sounded like sandpaper when she said that. He could see she was biting her lip. Her eyes wre trained on the moon for some odd reason. "The moon was my only companion for all those months. I may have had Charles, but the moon is what kept me sane."

"Your still Sane Kathleen. We wouldn't have let you in if you were insane" he said. Kathleen shook her head and kept mumbling "no, no, no."

"You don't get it Carl. I am a-and I have been for some while" she whispered. Her voice cracked and she closed her eyes.

Carl watched as the beautifully broken girl that laid beside him began to cry. He watched as she let go of her now swollen lip and let out a shaky breath. He watched as he wrapped his arms around her delicate waist and pulled her on his lap.

He watched her unravel, and even though it was devasting. It was devastingly beautiful.

A/N Awwwww a Carl and Kathleen moment, a DRUNK Carl and Kathleen moment. I'd just like to the few who read this, thank you so much! It means so much and I'm happy to share my crappy love story with you guys.

Comment what you think of this story and your thoughts on this chapter! I'll try to update soon.

Byeez


	9. Chapter Eight

"I hate you" Kathleen said, scowling. Carl stood bashfully at the door of their bedroom with water droplets falling from his hair. "My head hurts and I've never felt the urge to hit someone like I do right now."

"I'm sorry" he said truthfully. Carl walked over to his twin bed and flopped down on it. The springs made a loud squeaking noise that caused Kathleen to groan in pain.

"I wouldn't be hung over if you didn't sneak the bottles" she said. Getting up she walking over to the closet to grab jeans and a light blue flannel.

"It's not my fault your a lightweight" he shot back. Kathleen turned to look at him with a heavy glare and huffed.

"I am not a lightweight" she said. She grabbed her towel that hung up over the closet door and made her way towards the door.

"You had one beer!" he said, laughing. Kathleen turned to him and gave him the finger before walking into the bathroom.

Quickly she stripped from her pajamas and cringed at her pale skin and messy hair. She looked sickly, like she had just spent the morning vomiting. Which wasn't entirely a lie. She only spent half the morning upchucking.

Kathleen turned the water on and watched as it beated down in heavy pellets. It was different from Tower Heights. Everything was lighter, happier. The sun shined in every crevice of the safe zone, and laughter was a sound track that was constantly repeated.

In Tower Heights the darkness seeped into everything, giving it the feeling of death. The only noises ever heard from inside were from Kathleens CD player, Charles, the pipes, and Kathleens midnight sob fests.

She stepped into the small cubicle and let her thick curly hair dampen into a knotty mess. She grabbed the shampoo and squirted a large amount onto her palm. She rubbed her hands together to get the shampoo all over her hands, then messaged her aching scalp.

She sighed a sigh of relief and grabbed the small blue soap bar from the little holder by her head. The water was scolding hot and pounding down on her fragile figure. It helped relieve some of the ache that had taken over her body since early this morning.

Kathleen had woken with a start when the sun was rising. Bile was piling into her throat and her skin felt so slippery from sweat. She felt as if she had a high fever, or the flu. At first she thought she was about to die, but soon realized it was just a hang over.

Her father would drink many nights before his abrupt death. He'd wake Kathleen up with the loud sounds of his vomiting self. At the time Kathleen was so naive, she believed him when he said he was just sick. She'd get up out of bed and make him tea, while making sure all the rooms were as dark as possible.

Kathleen felt a laugh bubbling up her throat. She bit her lip to keep from doing so, and turned the water off.

"Like father, like daughter" she mumbled. She toweled her frail body off and shimmied on her blue ripped jeans. Almost all of Kathleens clothes were her fathers, or things she wore before. So even though her body was tiny and thin, there were still things she own that were getting to small for her body.

Once she had put on her death trap lik pants, she clipped a bra on (another thing from the before,) and slipped her oversized flannel on.

Kathleen ran her fingers through her monsterous curls and went to grab her toothbrush. Her mouth felt disgusting from her morning activities. Quickly she brushed them until she accidentally made her gums bleed.

"We have to go to our lesson thing" Carl said from the other side of the door. Kathleen rolled her eyes and spit out the toothpaste from her mouth.

Instead of letting Kathleen work like she had begged, Deanna had other things in mind. She had a lesson to go to in afternoon with three other people besides Carl. Their teacher, Florence, was a young woman with brown straight hair and a frazzled personality.

Any sort of chaos in the "classroom" caused her to get upset and beg them to stop talking. It was stupid, the lessons and the teacher. It didn't matter if you were educated in this world, those kind of smarts got you nowhere.

You needed to know hand to hand combat, how to shoot a gun. How to survive for gods sake. It drove Kathleen mad that this was how they spent their days. That Ron and Mikey knew nothing about the outside.

They couldn't shoot a gun for Christs sake! Kathleen learned how to shoot one four days into it. Her father pulled her aside and knew that she needed to know for the greater good. And it did her well, because look. She was still standing, unfortunately.

Kathleen opened the bathroom door and walked back into her room. She slipped her doc's on and put her hair into a quick ponytail.

"Let's go" she said in frustration. They quickly rushed down the stairs and out the door. The cool fall hair hit their faces, the smell of leaves and dirt being wafted to their noses.

Both Kathleen and Carl jogged down the empty street towards the garage where the lesson was held. Florence hated tardiness. Once Ron was late by four minutes and she went off into a lecture about how that would get us nowhere in life. But what did she know? The history she taught them would get them nowhere too.

Inside held five chairs and a podium made out of bins. A chalk board was behind the useless podium, the words 'mathematics' written in pink chalk. Kathleen rolled her eyes and plopped down onto one of the white plastic lawn chairs. Carl sat in the last empty seat, beside her.

Enid and Ron sat in front, while Mikey sat on the other side of Kathleen. Mikey seemed like a nice guy, but he almost seemed to interested in Kathleen, it bothered her.

And while everyone might assume that because Enid was the only girl near her age that they would be fast friends, that was far from true. She had tried to talk to Enid when they first met, but she was quiet and reserved. She brushed Kathleen off like she she was just a piece of dirt on her fingers.

In a way Kathleen understood. She could tell from the beginnig that Enid just didn't want to get close to them. She acted the same way towards Carl.

Ron seemed like a nice guy. He had talked to Kathleen for a bit when they first met, but it seemed as if they'd just stay close acquaintances.

"Today we are learning a few thing sabout math" Florence said as she stepped into the room. Kathleen groaned and closed her eyes. Her anger towards Carl increased as her never ending headache returned.

Today was going to be a long day.

A/N Hello, first off I'd like to say I know this is short, but at least its not shitty. The reason for my short leave of absence is because I've just been emotionally drained this past week and a half. Last week my dog thst I've had since I was seven fell ill and I spent about two hours of everyday helping him use the restroom (yes he needed help with that,) and drinking water. On the 14th he unfortunately died. So I've been dealing with that and letting go of him.

I realize this story isn't fast paced and filled with action like most TWD fanfics, but this story is mainly based on Kathleens journey of keeping her humanity. It of course is a Carl fanfic and I hope you've gotten some feels from their few moments together. With the time I've spent away from this story ive come up with a few things I want to do, so that this story isn't constant chapters of boring nothingness.

With that being said, buckle your seat belts, its going to be a bumpy ride.

-Hailey


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